Today's Lesson: Social Skills

I must have a sign taped to my chest that says, "Open Mouth, Insert Foot", because Lord knows, I run into enough people that are severely lacking in social skills and seem to be encouraged to stick their damn feet in their mouths. Now, this is not a "poor Justin's Mom, feel bad for her" post. This is me, raving mad at how people just don't think before they open their mouths.

Obviously, I had a baby 10 months, 1 week, and 2 days ago. However, I am only 1 pound heavier than I was on May 1, 2005, which was the day I found out I was pregnant. Seeing as how I have lost 49 pounds, I am pretty damn proud of myself. And I am working my butt off to do it. Every single day, 60 to 90 minutes a day. So tonight, after working out for another 70 minutes at the gym, as I am getting ready to leave, someone says to me "You're so cute". Now if this was a normal gym (as in, co-ed), maybe this would have been an acceptable statement. However, seeing as how I was drenched in sweat and looking pretty disgusting, and since this is an all female gym, and the person saying this to me was a woman in her mid-50s, I was a little taken aback, but just said, "uhh, thanks?". And then she proceeded to open her mouth and insert her big foot. She said, "How many months are you?" And I just looked at her dumbfounded and said, "what?" And she said, "how many months? You're pregnant, right?" Now, a person that has not experienced this always says they would come back with some witty response or whatever. However, being in this situation, I can tell you, you really can't think of anything except to look dumbfounded and say "um, no, I'm not". So then she said, "Oh, well you must have just had a baby?" And I said, "not really, almost a year ago". And she kept talking and making things worse. Bla bla bla.

Listen - I don't care what a person looks like - you don't ever ask a woman if she is pregnant! Jeez! If I was a stronger person, you could drive me to anorexia with a comment like that! However, seeing as I have no will power whatsoever and could never give up food, we're not in any danger of that happening. But someone else might be! Learn today's social skills lesson - never ask - wait for some sort of confirmation before ever broaching the subject.

You wouldn't believe the comments I did get when I was pregnant. Yes, I was enormous (see picture below), but people just have no shame. Like the idiot hostess at the nearby steakhouse who approached our table and actually asked me the following question, word for word. I swear. "You're not really fat, you're pregnant, right?" (I should have gotten her fired). Or the guy working in the supermarket who swore I was having twins and that my belly was just going to pull me right over onto the ground. Or three weeks after Justin was born and I was complaining to Ali about how the picture on the birth announcements didn't look right, the guy at the cash register at the salad place where we were getting lunch said, "How do you know what your baby's going to look like? Isn't it still in your belly?" Where were these people born? Under rocks? I just don't get it.

And actually, I don't really feel that 'bad' about what she said, because I really don't think I look pregnant. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy size jeans now, which is great. And just for confirmation, here's two pictures of me. One at 9 months where I was HUMONGOUS (but believe me, I knew I was huge - I didn't need people to tell me that!), and one from a couple of weeks ago. I think I look pretty good for someone who had 50 pounds to lose. Now, that's not saying I still don't have 20 (or 30) more pounds to go, but still, I don't look pregnant. Maybe it was the peanut butter & banana sandwich I ate for lunch?

I'm not looking for any affirming comments, either. But feel free to post other instances of "open foot, insert mouth" syndrome.